Yikes! I’m turning 50 and it’s getting real! Any of you out there relate to this?
So I’m going to be totally honest with you. Is that okay? Me being transparent and all.
I’m turning 50 and I have to say as the date has grown larger and larger with each passing day as it gets closer, I’ve struggled some with the significance behind 50. Now I realize 50 is just a number and how we view ourselves determines how we feel. I’m a counselor, I get that. However, I’m a person, I’m real and I have struggles too.
What is it about 50 that is hitting me so hard? In reality it’s more about the physical changes taking place in me. A couple of months ago I went to get my hair colored and cut and I asked my hairdresser to be totally honest with me about something. With all seriousness she looked back at me and said, “Absolutely.” I then asked her, “You see this patch right here (which was by my part towards the front), I can’t quite see it well because of the angle, but is that grey hair?”
I think I may have scared her with my seriousness as there was a very long pause, you know the kind where crickets begin to chirp, and if I was going to be totally honest I could tell she didn’t want to answer the question!
I asked her again, “Please tell me”.
As she stumbled with her words she told me the truth, “Yes, that is some grey. I was just trying to remember if you had grey hair there before.”
My response, “NO! This is new! Yikes!”
I then went on to entertain her and the hairdresser next to her with my honest transparent self.
“So now I’ve turned the corner that I’m not coloring my hair because I want to. Now I’m coloring my hair to cover the grey. I’m turning 50 years old soon, I’m getting a lot more grey hair and my ovaries are shriveling up and I’m losing my womanhood!” Yes I really did say that!!!
I’m so glad that I can laugh at myself in those moments. The three of us laughed together, but inside the shifting, the changing was taking place.
When did I change from that 20 something year old who I always saw myself as in the mirror to this almost 50 year old?
I’m so glad I have God in my life to help me navigate changes all around me and in me.
Now please note I did not stay in that place of despair for long. Scripture tells us to grab our thoughts and bring them under God’s authority and that’s exactly what I did and am doing. Panic or fear was trying to rise up and I was shutting it down in it’s tracks. Changing my thoughts from what I think or feel I’m losing to the beauty of what lies ahead in my 50’s.
This lead me to make a bucket list. To turn my year of being 50 into a celebration of life, of friendships, family, growth, giving, new beginnings, overcome fears, sharing, loving, serving, exploring, learning, and being creative! I’m going to celebrate for my entire 50th year pursuing as many items on my list as possible.
How many of you have a bucket list or items you’ve thought about putting on your bucket list?
Well now is the time to do those things.
So, here it is friends, my list of 50 things to pursue this year plus a few bonus ones to pursue during my lifetime! I would love to hear what you would have on your list as well.
1. Take a painting class with friends.
2. Go to Israel.
3. Participate in a 5K+ for colon cancer in honor of Janet.
4. Take a class such as cooking, photography or pottery.
5. Try an activity I’ve never tried before – at least one a month!
6. Spend a day at a spa getting the works!
7. Go on a girls trip for the weekend.
8. Revisit something I used to love to do, but don’t do anymore.
9. Choose one space in my house to completely reorganize or redecorate.
10. Make a fitness goal and achieve it.
11. Swim with dolphins, stingrays or some sort of sea creatures up close!
12. Visit a national park.
13. Sing karaoke – those who know me well know I don’t like to sing in public so I am facing a fear!
14. Go to a drive-in movie. Growing up we did this all the time – flashback to childhood days!
15. Soak in a natural hot springs.
16. Take a vacation with our whole family!
17. Watch the sun rise at the beach, from a mountain or somewhere beautiful!
18. Take Pictures in a Photo Booth.
19. Do things I did as a child and haven’t done in years – like ice skating or riding a bike.
20. Eat lots of cake, 50 to be exact over my 50th year!!!
21. Go on a road trip.
22. Buy something I feel was frivolous.
23. Become some what of an expert on one book of the Bible.
24. Climb something – hike on a trail to a waterfall.
25. Volunteer at numerous places throughout the year.
26. Complete my Berean Classes and become a Pastor.
27. Hire a chef to cook an intimate dinner for up to 10 friends in my home.
28. Buy and cut a cake taking it to a public place and share it with people passing by.
29. Grab a friend and do something I have never done before.
30. Organize a dine around the town. Eat a different course at each restaurant.
31. Face my fears and do something adventurous.
32. Swim in a waterfall.
33. Keep a journal / scrap book documenting my celebration this year.
34. Go to the theater to see a play or see a ballet.
35. Make a photo wall – blow up and frame my favorite pictures from the past 50 years.
36. Through acts of kindness, gratitude, and creativity – show those I love how much
they mean to mean!
37. Go to the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade to see the Broadway Shows perform.
38. Have professional pictures taken.
39. Go on an weekend spiritual retreat.
40. Mentor someone.
41. Organize a mission trip to Thailand.
42. Publish my 1st book.
43. Complete and publish a series of children’s book for children who have been abused.
44. Have 250+ followers on my blog.
45. Teach a workshop at the AACC Internation Conference.
46. Be interviewed on the radio.
47. Write curriculum and make video training for facilitators on Healing for Our Soul
Garden: Healing and Restoration from Sexual Abuse.
48. Have 100 churches/Therapists using Healing for Our Soul Garden: Healing and
Restoration from Sexual Abuse with small groups.
49. Be the Keynote Speaker for a Conference (300+).
50. Read 10 books that focus on growing as a believer, as an individual and in my relationship with God.
My extras to continue to pursue well past my 50th:
Have a picnic outdoors on a mountain, beach, by a waterfall
Walk/Dance barefoot in the rain
Get a complete makeover
Make a dream board
Take a bubblebath by candlelight with sparkling cider
Make Mosaic Art
Take a trip back east in the fall to see the beautiful fall colors
Memorize numerous chapters from the Bible
Go deeper on a topic – study it out, learn more about it
Pursue My Passion – Start a Movement
Be invited to speak overseas
Do numerous random acts of kindness
Go on a writers retreat
Go and visit Amish Community
Plan and go on a trip with my husband to Wales, Scotland, and Ireland
Take a cruise in the Mediterranean
Sample Gelato in Rome
Be interviewed on a TV show
Be interviewed on 10 radio shows, podcasts, video blogs
Learn to make pasta in Italy
Visit Australia
Participate in a Color Run
Travel to Europe
Visit Stonehenge
Ride a camel
Visit a castle
Join or witness a flash mob
Go on a prayer retreat
Go to a Black Tie event
Go dancing – with my husband and friends
Fly 1st Class once in my lifetime
Continuously grow and help others live their best lives